Effects of the Divorce Process on Children and Suggestions for Parents

Divorce Process and Its Effects on Children

Divorce is an extremely challenging process not only for parents but also for children. The separation of mothers and fathers can create feelings of anxiety, sadness, and uncertainty in children. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to manage this period sensitively and consciously.

How Should the Divorce Process Be Explained to Children?

1. Talk at the Right Time and Together
   If possible, it is extremely beneficial for both parents to discuss the topic calmly and decisively with the child together. The child should not learn about their parents’ separation from others or by chance. This undermines the child’s sense of security.
2. Explain in Age-Appropriate, Clear, and Understandable Language
   It is very important to provide an explanation that is appropriate for the child’s age level. Information should be given in a simple and sincere manner that they can understand, without excessive technical details.
   • For young children:
     “As parents, we will no longer live in the same house, but we will always love you very much and care for you.”
   • For older children:
     “As parents, we sometimes have disagreements and we decided to live apart because we are not happy with each other. However, this will never change the love and care we have for you.”
3. Do Not Create a Sense of Guilt
   It must be emphasized that the decision to divorce is not the child’s fault. Children may think that they are the reason for their parents’ separation. To eliminate this misconception, phrases like “This is our adult decision, and it has nothing to do with you.” should be used.
4. Explain That Routines Will Be Maintained
   Order and routines increase the sense of security for children. Explaining to them which aspects will continue unchanged can help them accept the process more comfortably. Providing concrete information such as “You will spend time with your father on weekends, you will continue to go to school, and you can still join the sports club.” can be beneficial.

What Should Parents Pay Attention to During the Divorce Process?

1. Avoid Conflicts
   It is very important that disputes between parents during the divorce process do not happen in front of the child. The tension between mother and father undermines the child’s sense of security and negatively affects their psychological development.
2. Avoid Badmouthing the Other Parent
   A child has the right to love both parents. Negative talk from one parent about the other can cause emotional turmoil for the child. This situation threatens the child’s psychological health.
3. Help Them Understand Their Emotions
   It is completely natural for children to feel sad, angry, or anxious. They should be allowed to express these emotions, and you should show that you acknowledge their feelings with phrases like “It’s very normal to feel sad, but I’m here for you.”
4. Do Not Hesitate to Seek Professional Support
   Parents may consider seeking support from a professional to help their children navigate this process more healthily. Support from a therapist or psychologist can help the child better understand their emotions and develop coping mechanisms.